November 12th, 2010 at 10:30 am, I was on the stage at the Jewish Book Festival.  It was quite a moment for me, but it didn’t quite work out the way I had thought it would.  Let me explain…

For the past six to eight years I have religiously gone to the Jewish Book Festival.  At first, I wondered if I’d write a book again, then owned up to my desire- I want to write about the “Power of Hidden Agendas”, and finally starting the writing process.  At the time, I felt simultaneously overwhelmed with the process and glad I was taking some steps to start writing-not staying stuck in what felt like quicksand to me.   Once, Cindy, my co-author, came aboard, I knew we would complete “something”, but wondered if I would make it as a speaker for the Jewish Book Festival.

Truth time- I gave it my best shot.  When our book was in manuscript form, I sent a copy to the chairperson and when it was finally published, I hand-delivered our book, now called, “A New Fearless You” to her.

So to say, I was surprised when I was asked to speak would not be a true statement.  To say I was surprised how it turned out would be a true statement…

The day before, I was listening to another speaker at the festival and saying to myself, “This author is a great speaker.  I’m so glad I’m on a panel of four local authors and I just have to answer questions that Don Wolff, the moderator will be asking us.”

At 10:15 when the four panel members gathered in the so called Green Room to go over the “details”, the chairperson says each of you will first give a ten minute presentation and if she said anything else after that, I lost it.

Another panel member, like me, had no idea that this was the format and was writing notes furiously.  I know I don’t usually speak from notes.  So this is what happened to the best of my recollection.

I decided to stand up-not stay seated- and I started with what was uppermost in my mind,

“I just found a little while ago, I’ll be giving a presentation- so like you- I’m looking forward to hearing what I say.  I do feel at home here. For the last six to eight years, I have been in the audience wondering if I would ever make it to this stage.”

At that moment, much to my surprise, the audience spontaneously started applauding.  I was so touched- I choked up and my voice broke as I tried to say thank you.

I guess I have come full circle.  After my brain surgery, losing control of my emotions on stage was what I dreaded-.  But in that moment at the J Book Festival, I felt surrounded with love and support and it will always be one of the most special moments in my life that I am so grateful for.

Until the next time,

Evonne Weinhaus